A year ago today, I made the decision to come out as gay.
Now, I could go into detail about my history, and about last year’s blog post which is inexistent at this point, but that is no longer the point.
I spent years afraid to tell people I was gay, which was brought on by a very unhealthy relationship I was in at the time, and struggles with anxiety and confidence.
So, here we are today.
Let’s talk about a few things.
- In the last year, I have dated as an openly gay man, learning a lot about relationships, and myself, including Lawrence, the amazing man I have called my own for the past 7 months – in Ohio and in Colorado. (He’s a babe.)
- In the last year, I started a new job as a graphic designer, and took some of my best photographs to date. (Hint hint, hire me.)
- In the last year, I found a new love, passion and respect for drag queens and the amazing art form that it is. (#TeamAlyssa, let’s be real.)
- In the last year, I have struggled with weight loss and finding the balance to eat right and stay healthy in a very stationed career. (We are working on this one.)
- In the last year, I have helped friends come out as gay, learning to love themselves and accept themselves, despite people in their lives not always agreeing. (Be you, always.)
- In the last year, I attended my first PRIDE – and had an amazing time dancing and singing, going to shows, creating memories, and speaking about being gay on a Colorado Springs news station. (And it was FABULOUS!)
- In the last year, I have seen friends and family go through moves across state lines, lose people they love, join their lives with other humans, and make hard but necessary decisions. (You can move home anytime.)
- In the last year, I have been called names, treated unjustly due to my sexuality, and lost “loved ones” due to being gay. (Choices.)
- In the last year, I officially turned a CORDER of a CENTURY, celebrating my 25th birthday with some amazing people. (Still can’t adult.)
Now you are probably asking yourself, why does any of this matter?
This matters because:
to those people who understand the difficulties of being gay in a world where people like Trump are actually being considered for president
to those people who understand the feat of what coming out truly is
to those people who can’t understand why we talk about our rights as humans
to those people who are reading this and asking what makes this such a big deal
IT IS A BIG DEAL.
And KNOW that for the first time, I am living 100% as myself. People are meeting me for the first time.
My own mother made a comment along the lines of not “understanding” me – and I took that as a compliment; because, for the first time, she was seeing a whole different person.
I had an amazing year, and I learned a lot about the community that I am officially part of; however, this is about moving forward.
Moving forward – I am here to help others who struggle with their homosexuality. I am here to help give our community the rights they deserve. I am here to be unapologetically me.
So… there is no need to be emotional in this post, because it is no longer about sadness or struggle – it is about growth.
I love who I am. I respect who I am. I accept who I am. I am who I am. I am free.
“Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is” – Sara Bareilles
Happy National Coming Out Day.
LOVE YOURSELF. Have the courage and strength to be YOURSELF.
Have the PRIDE to stand up for who you are and what you deserve.
They did it in October of 1987 at the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.
You can too.
(Celebration of pride photoshoot by the amazing Breez @ seventwenty1.com)